Tuesday, February 17, 2015

THE STRUGGLE WITH GROWING OLD

Talked to my grandpa today. He returned my call that I had left him on his voicemail for his birthday. Oh I miss that man so much! Seeing him and grandma once a year is just not enough. Especially when I see them struggling. Let's be real - the aging process SUCKS when your loved ones are hurting. :( I wish I could be there for them like I was for my great grandma. I have great memories of going up to my Great Grandma's assisted living home and spending time with her and playing piano for her. She would sit in her chair right next to me as I played her favorite hymns and if I listened carefully I could even hear her quiet voice singing in my ear. Her favorite song was "IN THE GARDEN."...we would play and sing that one every. single time. She would close her eyes and sing those sweet words from her heart straight to her Savior. Her friends, the other residents, would gather one by one into the room where the Holy Spirit would minister to their hearts and mine. There was no greater joy than worshiping Jesus side by side with my great grandma and her generation. Oh to go back. And how I wish I lived close to my grandparents now so I could repeat the same thing with my grandma in her assisted living home today. How I wish I could spend their last years with them enjoying sweet fellowship and ministering to them in person. For some reason I'm a sobbing mess after hearing my grandpas voice today...and feeling at a loss for anything to do with them so far away. I want to hold them. I want to serve them. I want to worship with them. Phone calls and letters just don't seem like enough. But it's what I can do and so it's what I will do. And I pray that each phone call I make and each letter I send will lift their spirits, make them smile, and help them enjoy life and feel loved just that much more.

God gave me this sweet song when I got off the phone with my grandpa. I need to send it to him, too. I love the many ways God speaks to us.


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